Damn, if I keep this up, I'll do these like, once a week or something..!
Anyway, my friend invited me to the cinema yesterday/today? It's 06.22 AM monday morning here, but we were there on Sunday. We didn't see any movie I wanted to, but I'd promised her I'd go to the twilight 2 movie. New moon. And I was again reminded of why I really dislike Bella and well, most of the dialoge and actions. Gah, too sappy love romance shit going on. Made me almost uncomfortable, cause I don't do sappy clichès. I just don't. And then one of the few good things died. T.T Man it will forever be burned into my retina, Laurent being savagely killed by those..animals! Although, I do like Jacob, he's so sweet, and thus my hate for Bella are only growing. Isj, he deserves better! Poor thing. And Laurent, since I was forced into going to the first one, he just left such a strong impression on me, have no clue why really. I can't even remember him from the book. Yes I read book 1 long before the movie came along. Never liked the book (probably why I didn't really like the first film either) anyway, now I'm wondering if I should maaaybe read them in search for Laurent! Poor thing, he only wanted to save Bella some pain! Give the man a break! can't go from savage killer to vegetarian in the blink of an eye.. shees!
But eventhough I hate Bella, well hate is a strong word, deeply dislike her, I'd probably try to rescue her from drowning. Still, I'd beat myself up for it later. xD Well, now that I got out some steam regarding the lack in REAL vampires lately, I feel much better! I mean, seriously, a sparkling vampire? That's just... wrong, so wrong. The whole purpose of the vampire myth is that they are bloodsucking creatures, sleeping in the daytime. You can't make them immune to sunlight! That's.. I can't even describe how shocked I was at that. Ok, I still have some steam left it seems. But really, isn't much of the spectable about vampire that their only real weakness, besides decapitation, is sunlight? And really sparkling like a frikking discoball? I laughed, I honestly did. They aren't vampires to me, not in the sense I believe a vampire is. But I guess we all have different views. I can however get past the sparkling in the sun, but as I like gore and blood, vegetarians just doesn't do it for me. No blood at all, exept when Bella is hurt. It's just not my cup of tea. Although I'd love to know more about Laurent, I liked him, such a sad ending for him, although he kinda went down in a blaze of glory! So it's bittersweet. He was luckier than Sirius Black though. Poor Sirius, I thought it was a joke when he went through the veil... And then he suddenly were dead. It didn't make sense, happened way too fast and was not given enough time to sink in and really get to you! He deserved better damn it! Aww, why oh why do the people I like die? I can only remember one time that a person I liked survived in a moive, and that was the chef in Deep Blue Sea! Omg, I was screaming ang going bananas in the sofa, so freaking exciting! And he survived! Whoohoo!! And on the Sirius note, Severus Snape you coniving, deceitful bastard! ARG! You too, deserved so much better, my poor tortured soul! Dammit! It doens't hit you how much you care before you've lost something, and he's just a character in a book. That was so not the way I thought he'd die, I imagined him going out in  a blaze of glory for sure, killig a heap of surprised death eaters, their surprise and betrayal making them all angry and they'll single him out at the same time and he'd take some of them with him in his death, who should've been totally freaking awesome! So sad and tragic the destinies of the tortured. But then again, Severus Snape was one I loved to hate. And Remus Lupin! He wasn't even deemed good enough to mention until after he was dead! another shock I found slightly insulting. I think that's why, because of the people who died, that I have only read the series once. Well, twise, kinda. One time in english and the other in norwegian. But the last one, nr.7, I've only read in english the day it came out. It was just sad and bittersweet that it was the last book. It's been such a big part of my life, and it's over. for me the movies are just kinda there. Like they don't really are the books, since they don't look like that in my head. I like the first 2, but ever since 3 I've been dissapointed. Especially in nr.4, cause I've longed to see how Hermoines dress would look in real life, and then I see, blue, no, pink... fucking pink! I was furious, I know, over a dress right? But It's the details that make a movie I think, at least when you're going after a book. And I had been looking forward to the dress moment since film 1. And well, after that, it's just been obligatory, sort of , to see the movies, just to see them.
Oh, and I've found a norwegian scoliosis forum, and I got to let even more steam out yesterday! I feel kinda better, but I put a heavy lid on my frustrations, so there are a lot more left. I could probably keep going a couple of days at least. Anyway, it's good to vent, we all need it from time to time, unless you wanna hurt someone. Which I don't recomend. I did that once, not good, it is as they say, still water runs deep yes, and they are the scaries when angry and most prone to violent outburst who may cause damage to those nearby.

Well, after that refreshing rant, I'll say good night, or as it's 07.04 am here, Good Morning! :D

Oh yes I am, no two-timing-evil-svine-flu can get me! >:D

But seriously though, gonna take that shot tomorrow, cause my mom won't stop hassling me about it. "You must think about your health, don't you care about yourself??" Jeez, so I'll probably stand in line for god knows how many hours tomorrow. OH, and yeah, I'M BACK! But I really thought I had been gone for a year or something! But it's only been a few months.. WOW, time seriously flies while you're at University.
Which, btw, isn't going all that well. >.> I'f there's something I'm seriously lacking, it's self-discipline. I mean, COME ON! It's crazy! It went well to begin with but damn. Although I've been told I'm not the worst, but that just makes me sad since no one should be as bad as me... It's bad, since if you're sick you fall behind, and it's hard to read up on all that shit, while you still have to go through the other stuff at the current time AND the other subjects you've got! @_@

How people do this so good is beyond me, although self discipline is a great part of it I'm sure! It's just hard, I'm starting to wonder if I should have taken 6 months or a year off before I launched myself into this... I just think I'm crazy. But I'll admit I might not have taken the easiest subject. Japanese really is quite different from Norwegian. And when you're not the type who just gets things with a snap of your fingers, well.. lets just say I've got my work cut out for me... T.T

Of course I've learned a lot, and feel proud of what I've learned so far, but it goes by so fast and before you know it it's another chapter and all. And god damn, I really really dislike kanji, why did they have to use kanji?? It's pretty darn complicated! Wasn't 2 alphabets enough?? OTL

Anyway, wish me luck in preparing for my exams which are on the 25th of nov + 10th dec! I certainly need it because I always do bad at tests, it's so much pressure I just black out. It's horrible :(

Later~

Holy ... Michael Jackson is really, surely dead.
Sorry if it seems I'm late at getting the news, but I wasn't actually. I was quick at knowing, and I'm still in shock and denial I think. All I can think about is, "but.. what about the concert..?!?" I'm so bummed and sad that I haven't felt like doing much really. Was supposed to be THE happening in my life, but alas, it will not happen, and my heart goes out to all his family and friends. I miss you MJ! Seriously, it feels like a sick joke or something. I just can't believe it! :'(

Well, over to something a bit brighter.. We'll be going to London Film and Comic Con instead :) And there I'll meet fellow BJD lovers and I bet we'll have a great trip, but I think I'll probably sometime during it, suddenly realize he's dead and that I will NOT be going to see him. >.< And then I'll be likely to cry or something.. (woah, fast at going back to depressing! >.>)

And also, my friend just told me that she can't go with us to Budapest and no one else can't either it seems, which leaves her without her money, cause it's not refundable, because of the cheap prizes we got! So I'm also bummed about that.
ACK! I feel like shit right now! >.< I kinda wanna give her the money back if no one can go with us instead, but then I'LL be the one without money.. So, I'm conflicted about that too. It just seems all the plans for the summer is slowly but surely going down the drain..

I also had a huge, kinda first fight EVER with my mom recently. Although we're back being friends, I still feel down about it. I told her about BJD's and that I decided I wanted to start in that hobby. (I've been in love with BJD's for good over a year)
I told her I had decided I wanted to buy one. And she FREAKED. I mean seriously went crazy! O.O She was yelling and telling me that she would never allow me to waste my money on such useless things. I told her that I don't live at home anymore and that I decide what I want to use my money on. And then she told me that, no, I don't control my money, she would make sure of that. She threatened to report me to the office where you get money cause you can't work for different reasons. ( No idea what it's called in english, or if you have something like that other places than Norway.. xD ) Of course, that's not all my income, but still, It would be BAD. She told me she would tell them I used my money unwise and make sure I didn't get any. ;_;
I tried to tell her that I'd be saving for a year or so and that I do have my own BJD account so I have money for all the bills and food on the table too. She didn't get that until we'd argued for at least an hour.
The reason I told her at all is because I want to share my hobbies and things I like with my family. I really had no idea she would react so strongly. And the reason I never told her before is because I feared this kind of reaction. After all, I know my mom.
I told her why I never really told her much about things I like, because I feel she hits me down so hard about it and that I hate fighting so I just try to avoid it as best I can. I think I've never been so honest about my feelings about her as a mom. I made her cry. But she made me cry first, so we're even I guess. I don't really feel bad about what I said, nothing was said in the heat of the moment that I'd like to take back. I told her the truth, seen through my eyes, and she admitted that she had faults and made mistakes too. Which I think is good, because she always thinks she's right, even if she isn't, and that's not really a good trait. So after a while she heard me out, and understood that, yes, I do still have food on the table and in the fridge, I still am able to pay my bills on time and yes, I also can afford a BJD. She said I took her by surprise and that she thought I hadn't thought much about it, just decided that "I want a doll, ok, I bought a doll but wait, I can't afford my bills.."
Really, I though she knew me better than that. I am the "responsible" after all. That is such a burden at times, people expect you to take responsibility, be dependable and able to do everything in life right. What the fuck is up with that? It angers me so, because when people think that about you, they get all negative and awful when you want to do something to make yourself happy, and I don't think you're selfish if you have saved up and worked for something. How can I be happy if I'm not allowed to do things that makes me happy?
I do think things through a lot before I decide to do something. I'm not stupid.
After a while we made up and are friends again, and she also wanted to see what kind of doll I want, so I guess it's a step in the right direction?

Anyways, sorry about the super long post, I had a lot on my heart I guess.. See ya later~